A Walk To Remember: National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial in Washington D.C.
Reflecting on my visit DURING NATIONAL POLICE WEEK in 2018 four years later…
by Gracie Parrish Miller
May 10, 2022
I don’t think I can articulate the emotions that I experienced as I walked through the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial in Washington D.C. during National Police Week for the first time. Nothing can truly prepare you for the somber silence that greets you as you walk up to the breathtaking memorial in the middle of a bustling city. It is as if time stops once you begin to walk the winding sidewalk, lined with granite and see the etched names. You’ll hear the hushed whispers and perhaps some tears falling but, beyond that, you only the wind rushing through the trees.
It was during this week in 2018, that Zack’s name was etched into the granite.
One of America’s fallen heroes.
He gave his life and in turn, my girls and I also made a sacrifice of a husband and father. I, along with many grieving families and LEOs, gathered to pay our respect and honor the men and women who laid it all down. I met widows and fatherless children of all ages – each of us grieving the loss of our family member who was taken too soon.
I had put off walking to the memorial wall as I knew it would bring up so many emotions. The reality of seeing your loved one’s name in granite rocks you and I was tired of feeling the heaviness of grief. I tried so hard to be strong and knew I wanted to hold it together at the wall. I wanted to be strong for my girls, for my family, and for Zack. But, I don’t think I knew how impactful it would truly be. I ended up making the walk to the memorial with some of Zack’s closest friends from Castle Rock PD. These were his brothers and I knew I was in good company seeing the wall with them. At the time we went to the wall, it was pretty busy and we had to meander amongst the crowd to get to Zack’s name. As I walked, surrounded by cops, my heart began to pound and the volume went silent. I could feel my throat burning and before I could become aware of what I was truly looking at, I saw Zack’s name etched in the dark granite. Without warning, I began to weep. I dropped to my knees in front of his name and just wept.
I wept for my two babies at home. I wept for my future. I wept for his family and friends. I wept for every dream we had ever spoken of that would never come to be. I wept because my reality was now staring at a piece of dark granite.
I soon realized that behind me, Zack’s friends had created a semi-circle around me protecting me from all the others at the wall. They had created a safe place for me to weep and grieve. But my tears were not alone, because I could hear the muffled sobs and sniffling from behind me. His brothers were grieving with me. We had all lost so much.
I was able to gather my piece of computer paper and crayon to make a copy of the etching from the granite. My hands trembled and I couldn’t see through my tears as I tried to make this copy for my girls.
Yet, soon, a hand came near me and held the paper still as I rubbed the crayon along Zack’s name. I wept and rubbed, but he held the paper steady.
While there are many memories from National Police Week that are etched in my heart, this memory holds the power of the Blue Family. I was never (and will never) be alone. In my weeping, in my silence, and in my need – they have been there ready to give a willing hand.
I can remember sitting in the plane as we took-off and headed back to Colorado. A week full of tears, sore feet, and raw emotions lay behind me. For the first time, I was able to take a deep breath. Something about the memorial wall had been healing for me. Perhaps it was letting my grief pour out until I had no more to give. Or, perhaps, it was the community that I was able to sit in. To hear the countless stories of Zack, spend hours walking the city and seeing the sights with his brothers or hearing an entire bar of cops give a toast to Zack… whatever it was my heart was lighter and I was going home changed.
This year, during National Police Week, we pay our respect and honor the men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice. We also acknowledge the families behind the officer that have had to make the grueling daily choice to continue to walk forward without their loved one.
We honor you.
The Shelter Foundation is committed to honoring first responders and supporting their families during National Police Week and all throughout the year. We are grateful for your support as we stand ready as the hands and feet of Jesus, helping to provide tangible hope for first responder families, wives and widows. Click here to make a tax-deductible donation to The Shelter Foundation.